The Mel Robbins Podcast #370 · February 15, 2026 · 1h 3m

Dating Expert: Why Dating Today Is Nearly Impossible & How to Find True Love

Hinge's Director of Relationship Science Logan Ury on why modern dating apps have paradoxically made finding love harder. The 'spark' is usually anxiety, not real connection. Attachment styles shape who you're attracted to — and understanding yours changes everything. Her research shows slow-burn connections predict lasting relationships better than instant chemistry.

Canon

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The spark is anxiety, not connection

Ury's Hinge research: only 11% experience love at first sight. What people call 'the spark' is usually anxiety. Slow-burn compatibility predicts lasting relationships. Supports the broader Canon on relationships predicting life satisfaction.

Claude ChatGPT Gemini

Highlights

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Attachment styles shape who you're attracted to

Understanding your attachment style (anxious, avoidant, secure) explains your dating patterns and why you're drawn to the wrong people.

Claude ChatGPT Gemini

References

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How to Not Die Alone — Logan Ury (2021) — Behavioral science applied to modern dating

Misc

✧Ury is Hinge's Director of Relationship Science

✧The spark = anxiety, not connection

✧Multiple podcast appearances across the Canon Cannon system